Sunday, September 26, 2010

Till the End ~Emily Dickinson

This picture was found using Google image search
on the website Flickr and was taken by the username
s. alt.
I should not dare to leave my friend,
Because-- because if he should die
While I was gone, and I-- too late--
Should reach the heart that wanted me;

If I should disappoint the eyes
That hunted, hunted so, to see,
And could not bear to shut until
They "noticed" me-- they noticed me;

If I should stab the patient faith
So sure I'd come-- so sure I'd come,
It listening, listening, went to sleep
Telling my tardy name,--

My heart would wish it broke before,
Since breaking then, since breaking then,
Were useless as next morning's sun,
Where midnight frosts had lain!

Emily Dickinson has always been my favorite poet and I recently found this piece. I am posting it because it has significant meaning to me right now and what I am going through. Just this past week a very good friend of mine committed suicide. I had tried to help him for months and thought we were making progress since he had agreed to go to counseling and then it all happened so suddenly. The shock and pain of loss I have felt ever since hasn't faded yet. One of the hardest things for me was the fact that he always came to me when he was down and I would talk him through it. The night it all happened he texted me but I wasn't on campus. By the time I got back, I was too late. I think this will always haunt me. This particular poem I had never noticed by E.D. before really struck me considering the similar aspects of my situation. This post is mostly for myself but maybe someone else can get something from it as well.